Sekrit Rools: The Dragon Riders of Pern, by Anne McCaffery

The following is a parody for humor purposes only: it is not an in-depth analysis. For a definition of “Sekrit Rool” go here

Originally posted Nov. 8th, 2008 on livejournal 

I mock because I love. Dragonriders of Pern was one of the first sf  series I read when I was a kid. It was only much later that I realized  how brain-breaky the series could be. (I personally think that the first  two are great, and I still kind of like the Harperhall trilogy.)

1. Dragon colors=hanky code

2. Sometimes, when you’re afraid your dragon going into heat will compromise your virtue, having your virtue compromised is just what you need!

3. It’s okay to be a bitch/sociopathic killer/ have other personality defects–as long as you’re the heroine.

4. Bronzes fly golds, browns fly greens (and occasionally golds), and blues are apparently perpetually blue-balled.

5. Male green riders are fem, and female green riders are bitches butch–whether or not they’re actually straight.

6. Herdbeasts: when “cow,” “goat,” “sheep” and “pig” would be much simpler to say/visualize.

7. Dragons are very good judges of character–except when they really, really aren’t. (Kylara? Prideth, what were you thinking?)

8. Religion is bad/wrong/divisive! And does not exist on Pern! (Let’s just ignore the reverence/fear of dragons and their riders, plzkthnx, and all the other ways people decide to be divided there.)

9. The hero of the piece is teh hero, even when he’s rather surprised that the heroine was a virgin considering she was a drudge.

10. The heroine will only have Mental Powers as long as it’s convenient for the writer that she have them.

11. Promiscuity is okay, unless you’re subbing for *Meron.

* I actually agree with this one. Kylara if you wanted kinky fun times, you should have talked to T’bor about it!

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