Sekrit Rools: Elfquest by Richard and Wendy Pini

The following is a parody for humor purposes only: it is not an in-depth analysis. For a definition of “Sekrit Rool” go here

I did not start with reading the comic book. Instead, I started with the trade paperback Journey to Sorrow’s End written by Richard Pini. I might have been in second or third grade, and I utterly fell in love with the elves. It wasn’t until fourth grade or so that I found out that it was actually a comic book–I read the Marvel Comics run, and eventually had most of the graphic novels (which long ago fell apart.) I didn’t begin to become disenchanted by the series until my twenties. Certain plot points which made sense and which didn’t bother me when I was much younger started to stand out as annoying or frustrating. The horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE art of Fire Eye (everyone had pucker mouths there are no words), and future world building of “Abode” kind of nailed down the lid on my love for the series. I still like the earlier storyline, and I should probably try re-gathering my collection some time in the future (If I can find older copies.)

1. The general attractiveness of a human will be directly proportional to how a)”civilized” they are, or b) how much they worship or admire elves.

2. Humans are xenophobic and untrustworthy by nature! Elves however are individuals with their own thoughts and opinions!

3. When confronted with a moral dilemma (such as what to do about refugee humans who are members of the tribe that burnt you out of your forest) the correct ethical decision is to let them escape into the desert and die horrible deaths of thirst and starvation, instead of killing them yourself. (Or you know, keeping them/helping them because they can’t exactly help being STUPID.)

4. Yes, let’s leave a catatonic stone shaper who was one of Winnowill’s minions in the care of elf worshipping humans who can’t defend themselves from his crazy.

5. You seem to have major problems with organized religion. Also, WHY is everyone apparently monotheistic except for the pseudo-animistic elf worshippers?

6. Winnowill: More lives than a cat, and apparently irredeemably evil despite the original stated theme of “no real bad guys or good guys.”

7. Recognition: Now you know where the “mate or die” meme came from.

8. High Ones: This wouldn’t have happened in the first place if you had listened to theTroll Local Union’s demands.

9. Not the series to follow if you have an incest squick.

10. High Ones: Some space explorers you are. You should have sent a probe out before  you decided to go “shock and awe” the poor Neanderthals

Leave a comment

Filed under Meta, Sekrit Rools

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s