Outline of Pawn of Prophecy by David and Leigh Eddings

Pawn of Prophecy (The Belgariad, No 1)This is an Outline, not a serious review or critique, meant for parody and humor purposes only.Other Outlines can be found here PAWN OF PROPHECY is the first novel in a High Fantasy series called the BELGARIAD, by David Eddings. The intent of the writer was to create a “realistic” epic fantasy. Whether or not he succeeded is–debatable. PAWN OF PROPHECY is one of the first fantasy novels I ever read, and the BELGARIAD itself was a huge favorite of mine. Unfortunately, as I’ve noted elsewhere there are actually quite a few problems with it as far as plot and “world building” goes. Despite the problems it’s entertaining and a very popular series and has managed to stay in print for years.

AUTHOR1: I hate Tolkien have interesting Ideas about High Fantasy so I will write a fantasy series where I address all the problems I think there are in High Fantasy based on my reading of THE HOBBIT!

AUTHOR2: I will be a background figure who won’t even get name credit for years and when I do, I will be blamed for Author1’s tendency to beat dead horses! 

AUTHOR1: Look! Pseudo-historical documents! A map! You fantasy READERS eat this stuff up!

READER:Yes, yes we do!

PLOT:Long ago in a galaxy far away there was an Ordinary Boy who was not in fact Ordinary though he doesn’t know it yet but we will tell you the READER, because third person omniscient is Impressive!

READER:No, really it isn’t, but keep going!

PLOT:Our Hero has an idyllic childhood among industrious hard-working people with mysteriously for the most part Mid-Western American Values! They’re like Norwegian Bachelor Farmer Hobbits! Have some loving descriptions of idyllic farm life and Our Hero’s guardian and mother figure, AUNT POL who has a great deal of Authority and is something of a physician as well as the cook!

*PUG:…But she’s a woman and this is a medieval society!

READER:pseudo-medieval with a dollop of anachronism-land actually! I think you’re just jealous that GARION got a child hood with a parental figure and you pretty much didn’t, dude bro.

PUG:…shut up.

ZUBRETTE:Hi! I am a cute and stereotypical girl who is playing mostly with boys even though I have NO tomboy traits!

RUNDORIG:Hi. Um. The writer made me extremely learning disabled because apparently race-ethnicity confers inborn stereotypical traits instead of culture and society.

DOROON:My being extremely hyperactive is also a result of race conferring stereotypical traits!

GARION:Gee, who is that rider off in the distance?

GARION’SFRIENDS: What rider?

GARION:*pointing* That rider! …wait, he’s gone.

GARION’SFRIENDS: Let’s play!

GARION:Okay!

PUG:*envies*

OLDSTORYTELLER: *Turns up to tell stories! Is obviously a friend or at least frenemy of AUNT POL!*

GARION:*Idolizes!* You’re so awesome, can I call you Mr. WOLF?

Mr.WOLF:Of course!

**MURGOES:*Also turn up and are kind of scary! Also, they are basically Orcs!*

PLOT:Look! Significant Things are happening! Also, there is a suspicious person named Brill who is also not what he seems! He is ninja! 

 

GARION:What’s going on?!

EVERYONE:Nothing GARION, just go back to doing your idyllic childhood thing.

GARION:Okay. *worries*

Mr.WOLF:Okay, head ‘em up, move ‘em out Pol, we have to get this show on the road.

AUNTPOL:I have to argue with you for argument’s sake!

Mr.WOLF:Yeah, I know, but we’re still going, bring the kid!

DURNIK:I’m going to!

Mr.WOLF:Okay.

AUNTPOL:No you’re not!

 Mr. WOLF: Yes he is.

AUNTPOL:*waspish*

PLOT:And so Our Significant Person is dragged along on what turns out to be a quest for a Magic Thingamabob called the Orb of Aldur. He whines a lot about it and is alternately freaked out and traumatized! They add on two more members of to the party a giant Viking Cherek named BARAK and a small weasely Drasnian named SILK. He learns that his Aunt and Mr. WOLF are Not Who They Appear to Be and this causes him existential angst that no one has much sympathy for, least of all the READER.

READER:Actually, I did sympathize with him…when I was ten or so.

AUNTPOL:*Is really POLGARA THE SORCERESS!!*

Mr.WOLF:*Is BELGARATH THE SORCERER!!*

BARAKand SILK: *Are actually nobles!!*

GARION:I…I’m really an orphan?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

LUKESKYWALKER: Your point?

PUG:Cry me a river.

GARION:And also there’s no such thing as magic! ARGH!

EVERYONE:*facepalm*

PLOT:Now we’ll go to CHEREK!

In CHEREK,GARION gets into a lot of hot water and we learn that BARAK’s wife kind of hates him because he’s a boorish jerk and getting handed off like that was pretty much awful and Not What She Wanted. Of course, we’re expected to side with poor BARAK and not poor MEREL. BARAK has a literal berserk (as in“were bear”) moment and freaks out. Fortunately she’s perfectly willing to backup GARION’S story about the hot water after she hears the story. Also, religion is totally likely to soften your brains, and the BEAR CULT is kind of freaky. The Queen of CHEREK should have babies to keep her busy since she’s actually a lousy sorceress.

READER:Wow…I don’t even know where to begin with this….

EARLOF JARVIKSHOLM: *Is not very good at keeping his plans secret.*

GARION:*Curiosity can kill peasant boys AND cats!*

EARL:*to minions* Kill!

GARION:Meep! *hides in what turns out to be a very convenient spot because he’s above the throne room.* halp!

POLGARA:You come down here this instant!

GARION:Um, no?

BELGARATH:He’s fine where he is for the moment, Pol.

POLGARA:*Flailing!*

PLOT:GARION gets rescued, MEREL gets snarky and the EARL OF JARVIKSHOLM gets beheaded for breaking the no-Angarak immigration policy of CHEREK. And we have an eventual happy ending, though of course, the story isn’t over yet. We continue the quest for the ORB OF ALDUR and pick up more Companions for the Quest! (It’s the Shopping List Quest!)


 *PUG, later called “MILAMBER” is a character from RaymondE. Feist’s RIFWAR SAGA. Hisbackground is “orphan  boy” with apromising future in pot scrubbing but is eventually apprenticed to a wizardwhich makes his life much more Interesting.

**On one hand, I like that the evil menace is a human menace. On the other hand, human Orcs are not that much different from Orc-orcs and are just as problematic if you don’t have black and white type world view.

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Filed under David Eddings, fantasy, Leigh Eddings, Outlined

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