I may or may not have managed to get twice my share of people who have either bullied or annoyed me. The meme that “if you’re having so much trouble, it must be you who is causing the trouble,” may or may not apply here. I know I am undoubtedly on the “List of Annoying People” of a lot of the people I have met, so I’m writing this list with a great sense of embarrassment. Names have been changed to distract the oblivious.
This person made at least three years of my life in grade school a complete pain in the neck. He’d pretend to back away in terror whenever I walked by and generally made fun of me. The teacher never did anything when I complained about it, and didn’t seem to care that he was writing some pretty foul things about me in his text books (which I found out about at the end of the year when I was asked to help clean up some of the text books).
This was a coworker of mine at a department store. She seemed to believe that she could order me around even though she was not in fact a supervisor. We tended to argue a lot and occasionally had screaming matches because of various incidents where one of us decided the other was too exasperating to live. What was particularly appalling was that management seemed to have the two of us conflated. They would call me Tina and her “Rena,” and on a few occasions I think I got in trouble for something she did and presumably, vice versa.
Classmate and general pain in the rear: Due to *inappropriate eye contact on my part he decided to harass me through three years of high school. Why, I’m not too clear on, but it was my sincere wish that he would burst into flames or move out of state (whichever would be more likely).
This was another coworker. He had a bad habit of doing the super funny thing of saying my name as a long groan. When I asked him what he wanted, he’d say “nothing.” He finally stopped when I told him, “Jake, it sounds like you’re constipated when you do that.” This worked to shut him up for a very long stretch of time before he’d forget and do it again, and I’d have to remind him that he sounded like he was straining to take a dump.
Classmate and general pain in the neck: Sherry and her favorite minion both decided to dislike me after I had to be in a group with them. Sherry decided I was a dishonest, horrible person because I blinked too frequently. Yes, because I blinked too frequently. Her minion of course joined in on the abuse and mockery. She took particular delight in waiting for me to say something stupid, for the express purpose of making fun of me about it. For some reason during graduation, she tried to apologize. I did not accept because sometimes I am vindictive (and also, too little, too late).
This was a supervisor. He would get pissy if I asked him where things needed to go. He would ignore me if I asked for clarification on something and in general would taunt and belittle me. If I went to a manager it was automatically my fault and I was being unprofessional and unreasonable. On top of that the supervisor had a habit of going off to gossip with the sales associates and then would wonder why people were saying bad things about **him I often ended up arguing with him over excruciatingly stupid things like whether grains of salt were actually seeds. (Because grains are seeds so of course anything called “grain” is also a seed! Except no, that’s not the way it works.)
This would the short list of very annoying people I have known. There are more, and I will definitely be writing about them at some point.
*I tend to look up at people when they make a noise or move in an unexpected way or at an unexpected time. I will keep doing this frequently, even when I don’t want to. People have also decided that my eye contact was intended to be rude, and that I was “looking at them funny.”
** They said bad things about you because you gave them AMMUNITION you idiot.