Reading Homestuck Part Five: ==> Rose, stop dilly-dallying!

From here to here

Rose allocates her knitting to her strife specibus. Her weapon is now “needlekind.” With the “root card” of her sylladex tree now in the strife deck, she immediately loses everything she captchalogued and has to start over.

The unknown controller tries to get her to knit a cuddle Chthulu. Rose has apparently never heard of Chthulu, though she is familiar with many examples of other non-Euclidean Space Gods from Beyond. Rose browses through a few of these examples in her Grimoire of the Zoologically Dubious. There are also diagrams and directions for summoning these creatures, though the diagrams don’t make a lot of sense as they don’t seem to involve anything really arcane.

Rose heads outside and we come to an animation with some dramatic text. It’s raining and the scene pulls back to reveal that Rose’s home is a fairly large building directly above a waterfall. (Or more accurately, it’s directly over the river where it becomes a waterfall.)

The next ==> command indicates that Rose will be encountering her mother. This is apparently a “psyche” because Rose’s image is replaced by that of a blond coolkid wearing dark sunglasses indoors. This is turntechGodhead. There is a command to enter his name. The unknown observer attempts to put in the wrong name, but the coolkid will not tolerate such shenanigans. His name is Dave Strider and he is the coolest coolkid on the planet.

The unknown controller attempts to get Dave to do something, but Dave is kind of resistant. He is just too cool to pay attention, and apparently, has no interest in playing the game. After some nudging, Dave begins to cooperate with the controller. He finds a box and a bottle of apple juice in his closet. Dave is apparently really happy to have found the apple juice, and immediately heads to his computer to pester his friend John about it.

Dave has a conversation with John concerning the apple juice, with John warning Dave that someone might have found a way to pee in a sealed bottle. (Apparently, this is a significant scene or plot point in the movie Little Monsters.) The conversation moves to the game and to whether or not it is awesome or if it is crap. Dave does not apparently care anyway, since he has no intention of playing it. He checks out one of his blogs where he writes reviews of a gaming magazine called GameBro (in an “ironic” manner). He visits another site that he maintains, an ironically horrible web comic, and then goes to check out The Midnight Crew, a web comic that he follows. (His reality apparently also has MSPaint Adventures–check it out, things just became recursive.)

We are now going on an adventure with the Midnight Crew. Pay attention, things that occur may, or may not become Significant later. After reading a few pages then skipping ahead, he saves his place in the web comic. Shortly after, he is pestered by Rose, who would like to know why Dave keeps shying away from playing Sburb. He and Rose snark at each other, and the next ==> command appears to be for John.

John is out on the balcony, apparently doing nothing. There’s a rapping sound at the door, and then a black fluid leaks under the door. On investigating he finds that his house has been splattered with the black gunk. The next ==> command is for Dave. Dave has decided that instead of being on the computer, he is going to create some ill beats. On the next [S] command, you can play with Dave’s sampler. The next command from the controller is that Dave should drink the apple juice, despite John’s warning. Unfortunately, he is not able to man up and take a sip due to John’s warning.

Dave receives a completely unnecessary direction to allocate his sword to his strife specibus. (Dave’s strife specibus is already bladekind.) Instead, he will need to captchalogue it, which he does. Unfortunately, the juice comes out, splashing all over the turntables and his copy of the game. Dave receives a command from the unknown controller to get a towel to clean up the mess. 

Dave heads out of his bedroom and we see that just as John’s Dad has an obsession for harlequins, and Rose’s Mom has an obsession for wizards, that Dave’s Bro has an obsession for puppets. Dave believes that this obsession is the result some kind of incredibly awesome level of irony that Dave has yet to achieve. (While John is exasperated by his Dad and Rose exists in a perpetual state of passive aggressive warfare with her Mom, Dave idolizes his Bro.)

Dave gets a towel from the bathroom and cleans up the mess in his bedroom. Dave hangs the beta envelopes to dry on the line in his room. The fan is running, and fearing that the game will be blown out the window, Dave goes to turn off the fan. Then a crow flies through the window and nabs the game discs. Dave accidentally throws his ninja sword at the bird, impaling it. The bird and the discs go out the window.

Part Four | Part Six

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Filed under ep synopsis, homestuck, Reading, web comic

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