Reading Homestuck Part Nine: ==> Dave: You’ve left him hanging long enough!

From here to here.

Once in the hallway, Dave removes a marionette from a door only to be confronted with a Mr. T puppet. The livingroom is also apparently Dave’s Bro’s bedroom, and is extremely messy. It’s filled with puppets and electric cords. There is one puppet in particular that Bro is particularly fond of, and who lives in it’s own chest when Bro is not taking him out on gigs.

This is Lil’ Cal.

Dave believes that his Bro has so many puppets around because he is some kind of master of satirical irony. Davehas spent a great deal of time trying to convince himself that his Bro likes puppets in a completely cool and ironic way. Dave believes (when his general hero worship of his Bro wavers) that the only reason he doesn’t get Bro’s ironic satirical humor is simply because he is not yet cool enough to understand the utter amazing cool irony of all of these freakish puppets, some of which are disturbingly naked. (Dave is actually extremely freaked by saidpuppets but will not admit it to anyone, not even himself.)

The next command is for Dave to find Lil’ Cal and give him a fist bump. Dave does not see Lil Cal anywhere, sothe next command is for Dave to play a game on the Xbox. Of course, when he goes to do so, Lil Cal appears. (And Dave’s twitchy turn around sort of belies his earlier statements that he is not at all freaked by his brother’s cool puppets.) Dave plays a very, very silly game on the Xbox and then remembers that he forgot to give Lil Cal his fist bump.

Then Dave is directed to look around at his Bro’s “sweet gear.” He’s more or less agreeable to thesuggestion, and heads over to Bro’s computer. The computer is password protected, but Dave knows the password and so has no difficulty logging on. He opens an application called “Complete Bullshit” that looks at multiple sites simultaneously, and takes a look at one of his sites, and ironically horrible web comic called Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. (Dave and his Bro keep track of each other’s sites.) Dave is then directed to a feed that has the word “plush rump,” in it.

This is one of Bro’s sites. It involves puppet porn. The web page is extremely disturbing. Dave has to assure himself that his Bro’s irony is surely at epic levels, but he has some difficulty taking his eyes away from the horror that is plush “smuppet” rump.

Dave is directed to look for Bro’s copy of the game, but he is briefly distracted by Lil Cal. Dave is directed to give Cal another fistbump. Dave is not quite able to manage this as he is becoming overwhelmed by the overwhelming presence of the various puppets. He’s directed to pester John to settle his nerves.

Dave does so, but does not receive an answer from John He notices that Rose is online and attempts to pester her. She replies and they talk about their current situations. Rose is in the kitty mausoleum, which is somewhat closer to the forest where the fire is raging, Dave is slowly getting around to finding his brother’s copy of the game, which he will hopefully use to rescue Rose. Dave accidentally confesses to a nightmare concerning Lil Cal, and flails because he doesn’t want to be psychoanalyzed by Rose. Rose rather snarkily points out that she has bigger fish to fry at the moment. (Or should that be, wants to avoid being fried.)

The next ==> takes us seconds into the future, but not many, where Rose is drubbing John upside the head with a box, and John is still flipping out. She eventually gives up trying to get John to stop flipping out. She is then directed to “deploy the Punch Designix.This is a workbench of some sort with what looks like a keyboard dangling from some wires. Rose moves John’s piano in order to make room for the Punch Designix. She leaves him a message directing him to see how it works when he gets over his histrionics. She also tells him that his yard is now completely infested with monsters now.

John is apparently already aware of this, and is not very happy about it. The sight of the monsters in the yard has snapped him out of his tantrum he is more or less coherent, and ticked off at the imps. He fixes the hammer. Then he is directed to “confront the pogo ride.” (This seems to involve shaking his fist in a rage at the pogo ride. The next command is a [S]==>.

This is a game page. We see an imp sitting at John’s piano and banging on the keys. Another imp is riding on the pogo. The directions for this little game involve clicking on giddy up and then using the arrow keys to move things. The next direction is for Rose to drop something heavy on the imps. Rose picks up the piano and drops it on one of the imps, destroying it and the imp. What’s left behind is grist.

John is extremely unhappy about the death of his piano. Rose apologizes and directs John to go downstairs and retrieve the grist, which John is not very willing to do because of Nanna making cookies downstairs. He asks Rose if she can find a way to get the grist for him. Rose attempts to use the pogo ride to move the grist, and this works. She transfers the pogo ride (and the grist stuck to it) to John’s bathtub. Shetells him to go work on the Designix while she does some work of her own. John asks her what, but the next panel involves the piano, which has been directed to “level up.”

We are informed that if the piano had not been slain in battle with the imp, it would have raked in loads and loads of “boondollars.”

The next ==> command directs Rose to build.

Part Eight | Part Ten

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Filed under ep synopsis, homestuck, Reading, web comic

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