Reading Homestuck Part Ten: ==> John: Would you happen to have a can opener I could borrow?

From here to here.


Rose begins to build. She creates stairs, which turn out to be very expensive. John says that he could have warned her about stairs. This is not the last time inin this comic that someone will be warned about stairs. It just keeps happening!  John offers the opinion that Dave is dumb for liking puppets. (John, like most of the cast has moments of being a complete jerk.)

Rose continues to build, and John goes looking for imps or useful items in the house according to the directions of the next ==> command. The only thing John finds however is a cabinet full of shaving cream. He is directed to take two cans of shaving cream which causes his telescope to launch itself from his sylladex. It lands outside near the broken piano, startling a couple imps. The next ==> command directs John to ride the pogo ride, but since the Pogo rideis now in the bathtub, there is no room for riding and then falling off of it,so John captchalogs it instead.

The next command for Rose is to check up on “Nannaquin.”  We see that Nanna has made piles and piles of chocolate chip cookies. Also present is an imp. He appears to be reaching for something that turns out be one of the cookie piles on the next page. Nanna zaps him with a blue deathray and he turns into a pile of grist. Meanwhile,John goes to the study, where he encounters two imps, one of whom is brandishing some kind of harlequin thing at him.

On the next page we see that the house is full of imps and they have been playing with the cruxtrader. Blue cylinders and black goo is everywhere. The next==> command is for John to ride the Slimer pogo ride and one-up the imps.John does this, but points out that the pogo is not actually a Slimer pogo. The next command is that John should ride his steed to victory, which he does,bouncing around on his pogo ride and squishing imps. The narrative says this is extremely dangerous, I would say that it is pretty much impossible. The next command is for John to flip out. (And we already know this is something he excels at.) John gets knocked off the pogo ride, and the unseen director politely asks that John get up.

Before the imps can close in on him, John holds his own pogo ride hostage, which alarms the imps and gives him time to escape. The next page is a short animation where John absconds from the living room.

Rose then squishes one of the imps with a refrigerator, and the refrigerator is directed to level up. The refrigerator wins 285 boondollars and ascends its echeladder to “Five Star General Electric.”

The unseen director congratulates John for having escaped, and then asks permission to ask John a question in a weirdly formal manner. Then Rose attempts to contact John, only to find out that John does not have his PDA with him at the moment.Rose complains about this, and then directed to drop something on one of the imps. Rose picks up a safe and drops it through the roof on top of the imp.John’s director meanwhile is asking to borrow John’s can opener. John finds himself looking around for a can opener. He’d go into the kitchen to look forit, but the door to the kitchen is currently blocked by the refrigerator. John is completely stalled and can’t do much of anything.

The next scene takes place “years in the future.”

We see an obscure figure wrapped up in cloth. He is reading a book of etiquette.(Which is why he has been so polite recently.) Every so often, he rips off a page of the book and eats it. Then we are directed to a page featuring various past walk throughs of this game, including Rose’s. There are a number of screenshots of the game available, with captions. Feel free to go through them as yes, everything relates to the plot. There is nothing here that does not eventually relate to the overall plot in some way, shape or form, even if it’s just a joke. This web comic is crazy with the recursion.. 

Rose is next directed to build a loft above John’s room. She discovers that laddersare somewhat less expensive than stairs. (I warned you about stairs bro. I warned you, dog.)

The person directing John’s actions politely notes that he and John have reached an impasse. John is still dithering about the can opener that that he can’t get to because the refrigerator is blocking the kitchen’s doorway.  As a result, John is flipping out and apparently completely unaware of the imps surrounding him. The mysterious individual takes his leave of John after bidding him a polite farewell and thanking him for his help. (This results in a strange not-really-a-conversation that John is not consciously aware is occurring.) Meanwhile, John is still flipping out and both Rose and Dave are attempting to get his attention.

When John once again becomes aware of his surrounding, he discovers that the room is suddenly full of grist! He’d directed to gather the grist and examine the “designix,”which is the weird keyboard/work bench/computer that is now living where John’s piano used to be. There is a helpful diagram demonstrating how to use the device.  

The next command is for Rose to answer Dave.


Part Nine | Part Eleven


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Filed under ep synopsis, fantasy elements, homestuck, humor, Reading, science fiction, web comic

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