Reading Homestuck Part Fourteen: ==> WV: Be the Mayor of Can Town!

From here to here.

Wayward Vagabond studies the book of etiquette which has taught him a great deal. (Such as table manners!) He is directed clear out the cans of food from the machine. (While WV is being directed, it is not clear who might be directing him.) There is a lot of food, but there is not can opener for the food. Whoever set up this cache of supplies was just not forward thinking enough, I guess.

WV is directed to hunt around for a can opener. WV does not think this direction is very helpful, since he has already looked for a can opener and even asked for one electronically. He’s directed to find a sharp object. The only sharp object he has is a shiv he made from one of those letter box flags. As knives go, it is really not super-effective! WV is directed to be the imp. WV would like the unseen director to know that he is not an imp! WV is next directed to become the Mayor of Can Town.

Wandering Vagabond thinks this is an awesome idea! He quickly constructs a town hall, and devises a mayoral sash. This guy has some big ideas and would probably be the sort of character you would want to have around if you were writing a post-apocalyptic story where things get rebuilt instead of getting smashed into smaller pieces. Of course, this guy is in a post-apocalyptic story where the latter takes place, so he has no useful raw materials or resources and therefore he builds Can Town instead of Real Town. We discover that WV is violently anti-monarchy and passionately *democratic.

WV is directed to explore the territory west of Can Town. To the west, he finds another of the purple storage areas, a glowing green rock, a yellow container, a box of chalk and a chunk of amber in which a firefly is imprisoned. (The firefly is somehow alive.) He is directed to use the green rock to open the cans. He eats it instead, why, we do not really know. The next direction is to look at the box of crayons. WV lets us know that it is a box of chalk, not crayons. WV is extremely excited by this find!

He attempts to open the storage box, but is unable to. He is next directed to check out the yellow container. The yellow container turns out to be full of motor oil. Finally, he’s directed to rescue the poor lightning bug. He is not able to do this, because trying to crush the amber might harm the firefly. He decides that the flashing firefly should represent the Light of Democracy, and places her in the town hall.

WV is next directed to draw a network of roads and plan out future expansions of this thriving community! WV is extremely happy to do so. He creates a grid of residential and commercial zones in the only pattern that makes sense to him, (a chess board) and is advised to use the motor oil for marking the commercial zones. He is then told to peel off the label of the can of Mayo for his sash. (He adds an “R.”)

The next step is to add more territory to his city. There isn’t a lot of room to expand in, but the walls are bare of decoration, so he next works on creating scenery for his little city. The mural slowly becomes more elaborate and much larger as he works. On one wall he creates a large golden planet with a single satellite. On another wall, he creates four small worlds. (Pay close attention to these as they will become important later.) One world is mostly orange with a gear wheel. One world is colored with grayish chalk and a bit of motor oil. Another world is surrounded by pastel clouds, and the fourth world has an erupting volcano. He moves onto the southern wall, where he colors mostly with the motor oil and purple chalk. There is another world there, done in purple with a small satellite. The remaining wall contains a screen where we can see John.

WV is directed to turn on the other three screens. WV however does not know how to do this. He is next directed to press the tab key. This opens the other locker! There is a great deal of tab stored in this locker, and WV is overwhelmed by this cornucopia of soda. He’s directed to consume several cans, which he does. The remaining cans move to Can Town.

WV returns to the screen where he discovers that hitting escape will minimize the window and reveal a log of all previous commands. Reviewing the log, he can’t believe how much time he spent on sending John commands. Some more exploring reveals that there is a menu of commands.

WV is directed to hit “switch 2.” The image that turns up on screen two is badly garbled. (The viewer will recognize this as one of the wizards from Rose’s house.) The screen also has a lock on it, which means that WV cannot send commands. Switch three shows a similarly garbled image and the screen is locked. We can see Dave, and the impaled crow, which is now a sprite. WV does not bother trying the fourth screen. Instead, he types in “home” which reveals the Sburb logo. Below the logo is some kind of timer. The countdown is at 04:13:00 and counts down to 04:12:50.

WV is the told to hit “reboot.” He is unable to do this, as the timer has somehow caused the keyboard to freeze.  He is instead directed to be the mayor. This is something he is quite happy to do! He busily creates job opportunities for his citizens, and starts a militia to defend the town from anything it needs defending from. The next page is an animation where we see WV spending the next four hours playing with his town. The next direction is to mourn the death of one of the can citizens in the militia.

The timer has gone down to four minutes.

The next link is titled “minutes in the future.”


*Special note: Since I once had an ^argument about this: democracy is a form of government. The Democratic Party takes its name from this form of government.

^Yes, I really did have an argument about this. Someone got into a snit because they were Republican and did not want to have anything to do with democracy.

Part Thirteen | Part Fifteen

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Filed under fantasy elements, homestuck, web comic

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