Reading Homestuck Part Nineteen: ==> Jade: Feed the Devilbeast You Call a Pet!

From here to here. (First opens on animation with music.)

We open with a pre-loader that turns out to be a “Psyche!” Jade and her grandfather have a confrontation! Clicking on the keyboard causes Jade to move and around and shoot. Grandfather Harley however doesn’t move at all. He doesn’t move at all because he is living impaired. He is existence disabled. He has shuffled off the mortal coil. He is deader than a parrot that is pining for the fjords. Also, he has been stuffed.

This does not noticeably stop Jade from having an argument with her grandfather. She is an independent young woman who can take care of herself, and she does what she wants! After telling her grandfather goodbye, she immediately absconds. While she does care about her grandfather, she feels that he was much easier to get along with when he was alive.

Next, we go back to Peregrine Mendicant, who has miraculously survived the explosion. She’s directed to look out the hole left by the explosion. What we see is desert and falling mailboxes. Next, we see one of the metal worms. It retrieves one of the mailboxes, which PM appreciates greatly.

 The next command is to Rose, who is directed to, “refuse to acknowledge the absurd kitten.” This is not something that could ever be possible. Rose picks up the kitten and goes to investigate some more “mad scientist” equipment. Rose is directed to insert a coin. Rose has no coins and the weird doohickey wouldn’t accept them anyway. Next, Rose is offered a chance to play a game. However, this is not a game, this is an Appearifier. She is directed to play with the Appearifier.

 We see Jaspers! Jaspers nine years ago, according to the time stamp on the screen. We also discover that Jaspers was not just buried in a suit; he had always worn one. The camera pulls back a little and we see Wee Tiny Rose who is apparently psychoanalyzing her cat Jaspers. Meanwhile, Rose in the story-present causes a time paradox when she Appearifies Jasper before he can give Wee Tiny Rose his Secret. The paradox ghost of Jaspers appears and quickly collapses into a pile of green sludge.

The machine next to the Appearifier sucks up the sludge and turns it into a tiny paradox clone of Jaspers. The tiny mutant is non-viable and will not survive, and the narrative indicates that someone was apparently using this equipment to perform ectobiology. We also learn that this facility is due to be destroyed very shortly (by the meteor heading toward it).

 Rose is next directed to have a flashback. There is of course no need for a flashback. Rose can watch on the screen as Jaspers tells an apparently astonished Wee Tiny Rose his Secret. Then Jaspers disappears, obviously Appearified elsewhere, but Present Rose’s hand was nowhere near the screen. Rose remembers that Jaspers turned up a couple weeks later, and her mother immediately arranged a funeral for him.

The next direction is for Rose to trace Jaspers whereabouts using the machine. She attempts to find out where Jaspers went, but is unable to do so. The next command is an [S] command where she is told to fast forward to “now.” This is an animation of Wee Tiny Rose finding Jaspers body, the funeral, and the sequence of events where Rose ended up in this secret laboratory and where Jaspers body was apparently disintegrated. Except the device is not a disintegrator, it is an escapalizer.

Rose however has only a few seconds before the facility is destroyed. She’s directed to transportalize out of the area immediately! She does this with great alacrity. The next command is for Jade who is directed to feed her devilbeast.

Finding Becquerel is something of a chore for Jade, since Bec is the only thing Jade can’t see with her prognostication abilities. There is an animated gif in the next bit where we see a very scary silhouette that appears and then disappears. The description of Bec as a devilbeast is apparently Very Accurate! Jade is next directed to get the package that she expected to arrive. The gift for John apparently landed right on time even though it was months late, and is near a mysterious ruin.

The next command is for John to triple somersault into a room, sticking the landing. We see him in his dad’s room, which is mysteriously lacking in the clown and jester department. In fact, the room doesn’t seem to say “hilarious street performer,” or “aficionado of clowns” at all. John does some snooping, and discovers that…his Dad is not a street performer. The next command is an [S] command, instructing John to examine the room. The realization that his Dad is just an ordinary businessman is EXTREMELY traumatic for John, but he eventually manages to accept this discovery.

While John is learning to accept that his Dad is just an ordinary businessman, John’s Dad is proving to be extremely extraordinary, at least as far as strength is concerned. He is able to easily life a safe over his head, and uses it to menace his hapless captors. He is also apparently a whiz-bang at getting out of jail cells. We see him toss the safe (and the minions) through a wall. The guy in clown motley observing these shenanigans realizes that he is going to need a bigger safe. We also need to know this guy’s name!

The person typing puts in the name “Spades Slick.” The guy in motley likes the ring of that name, but his name is not Spades Slick. The person typing puts in a command telling the guy in the clown get up to state his name and rank. The gentleman’s name is Jack Noir and he is the Archagent of a Dark Kingdom. His job is to observe everything that is going on via his Fenestrated Walls. He used to have four of them, but one was stolen.

Jack is first instructed to done a comical hat. (He hates the hat and refuses to do this.) Then he is told to call a minion. Jack does this, instructing one of his biggest agents to bring something heavier with which to block the cell. Jack’s communication is interrupted by his ruler, who is concerned about Jack’s dress code violation. Jack very begrudgingly puts the hat on.

The next command is for him to throw it down in disgust. Jack will do this once his ruler is no longer breathing down his neck. Jack next notices that more shenanigans are occurring in the holding cell. John’s Dad is clobbering the agent that Jack sent to the holding area! The next command is for John to search the room for anything his Dad left behind.

Part Eighteen | Part Twenty


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