Reading Homestuck Part Twenty Eight: ==>John: Talk to the troll who is literally a troll!

From here to here.

In a future settled askance of the present, we are back with our first group of post-apocalyptic survivors. We see a huge beam of blue light behead the frog temple. PM’s weird worm-apple vehicle is shooting blasts of energy at Aimless Renegade, who is dancing a jig in his efforts to avoid being incinerated. AR responds by blowing up the PM’s vehicle. AR next takes aim at Wandering Vagabond, but the devil face carved on the pumpkin causes him such immense alarm that he immediately rushes over to WV and surrenders. (At least his arms are up in what appears to be a “don’t shoot” gesture.) PM tackles AR, looking extremely ticked off.
Next, we are taken to the mystic ruins of an era pre-desecration. In other words, we go the past where Jade is. The time capsule has opened up and Dave’s game discs are inside. Jade changes her fetch modus to “Jenga” which does not work very well for her. She switches to Pictionary, and shenanigans similar to those engaged by Rose and John occur. Jade’s adventures in managing her sylladex are interrupted by her dog, who promptly teleports her to her room, sans her sylladex. Jade’s next direction is to install the Beta. She does this, and then pesters her friends.

We get a view of her “chum roll” and “troll slum.” It seems that carcinoGeneticist, arachnidsGripand terminallyCapricious are online. Jade is not happy about this.

The next command is for John to pester Rose. Instead of Rose, he gets Jade. They touch base, and it seems that Jade has some additional awareness of the game that John does not possess. Jade also mentions that she is about to start playing the game with Dave, though her explanations confuse John a great deal. Jade signs off, and John is contacted by one of the denizens of his troll slum.

Next, we see that Dave is attempting to contact Rose, who does not seem to be available. He is possibly a little worried, as he is babbling non-stop. He is also complaining about the extreme wordiness of Rose’s game FAQ. Jade contacts him to let him know that she is installing the game and will be his server player. She also lets slip some information she has about his role in the game. She also tells him that she will be his hero, which is all kinds of cute. (Spoiler: Also very literal.) She lets him know that he really needs to get his act together because there is a meteor. She even provides proof in the form of a bewildering image. Dave asks about the size of the meteor, going into his disaster movie riff, and then they sign off.

John answers the troll from his troll slum. It is the gray nubby horned kid from the other game session! It is also carcinoGeneticist. Oddly enough, he seems rather friendly to John, who responds with complete outrage that carcinoGeneticist has somehow found him again. The gray nubby horned kid informs John that John’s ruse was extremely ineffective, and claims that the only reason they stopped contacting him because he was boring. He also says that he isn’t here to troll him, and that they’re friends, which John understandably does not believe.  

The gray nubby horned kid claims that from his position he is able to view John’s entire timeline. He claims to be frustrated because he has been going through John’s timeline backward and the further he goes back, the more frustrating it is because the less John seems to know. (Obligatory sarcasm: No, really?) John is extremely skeptical about carcinoGeneticist’s intentions despite the other kid’s claims of friendship. carcinoGeneticist also tells John that he is not in John’s session of the game, but in a completely different session. It turns out that the main reason that carcinoGeneticist has contacted John is to get him to tell Jade to talk to carcinoGeneticist and his friends. John says that he’ll think about it, and signs off.

Next, John is directed to go looking for his father’s car. Meanwhile, at another point in time, WV is directed to settle this dispute in a rational, diplomatic fashion. The three post-apocalyptic survivors make peace over centuries old cans of lukewarm Tab and canned food. At yet another point in time we see that Dave’s city is being pummeled by meteors.

Jade is directed to deploy the alchemiter. She sets it on top of a broken air conditioning unit that seems to be perfectly scaled to fit it. Next, she sets the cruxtruder in Dave’s room. Dave is still complaining about Rose’s extremely wordy FAQ. Rose tells him to hold. Then Dave sees the arrival of the cruxtruder and signs off with Rose so he can make sure Jade doesn’t wreck any of his stuff when she puts the cruxtruder down.

Dave’s room is filled with crows and snaking wires so Jade is finding it very hard to find a good place to put the cruxtruder. She opts to remove Dave’s bed and put it on the roof, which creates the necessary space. While Jade is rearranging Dave’s bedroom to suit her purposes, Rose has contacted Dave about Jade. Neither of them know how Jade managed to get the game discs, and Rose is somewhat snarky about Dave not getting with the program soon enough. Dave attempts to defend himself, but Rose continues to snark about dawdling boys.

Jade continues to rearrange Dave’s apartment so she can fit various necessary items inside of it. Rose admits that she had not contacted Dave sooner because she had been talking to one of the trolls. Dave complains about this, but back off when Rose also says that she had checked on John. Dave states that he should probably contact John himself because he loves him. It is difficult to estimate the seriousness level of his comment, but Rose appears to take it at face value.

Next up is another [S] sequence. It starts with an image of a circle with a central gyroscope symbol that is connected to another gyroscope symbol. A second gyroscope appears and connects to the symbol in the center. Then we see a fantastical seascape with rainbow pastel water and rain with sunshine. Rose is apparently in The Land of Light and Rain.

Next, AR cautiously drinks Tab.  

Part Twenty Seven | Part Twenty Nine

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Filed under apocalyptic, fantasy elements, homestuck, Reading, science fiction, web comic

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