Reading Homestuck Part Thirty Seven :==> Dave: Get a faceful of safety!

From here to here.

We see Rose and the renamed Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer who are standing on the alchemiter. We also see a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff panel reading: shit. lets be santa Rose is directed to combine a number of items. She creates a toy for the Viceroy, a completely useless bronzed vacuumbrella, a useful handsfree computing device and numerous other devices. Then the house is attacked by various monsters and she defends herself with recently alchemized weapons.

Meanwhile, Jade is directed to build. She is also still asleep.   

Next, Dave is directed to wake up and jam. And by jam, we actually mean alchemize stuff. Dave creates a number of useful devices, despite Davesprite having created stacks of useful items in his own timeline. He creates iShades, and a Turntop. He also updates a suit created by future Dave. He also attempts to combine the sword Caledscratch with a “Ruby Contraband.” However, the item is extremely expensive and not viewable. He attempts to show it with the holopad, Using the preview, he finds out that it will create an item called the Broken Scarlet Ribbitar. If Caledscratch is unbroken and he combines it, he gets a complete Ribbitar which is even more expensive than the broken version.

Dave is then directed to combine a shitty sword with a Hella Jeff drawing. This creates a Sord so shitty Dave has a hard time even holding onto it.

He is next directed to combine a Snoop Dogg photo with a mini-AC unit and Caledscratch. This becomes the Snoop Dogg Snow Cone Machete. The next thing he combines is the Hella Jeff picture with a skateboard. This creates an incredibly shitty looking floating skateboard named Unreal Air. It floats up into the sky and disappears. Dave is directed to make another one. He quickly captchalogues the skateboard before it can escape from above.

Dave makes some more snazzy suits, and then some really neat mutant abominations! Then he makes some more useful items then once again starts making weird stuff. (At one point, he decides to copy himself and put his own brain in a jar.) He also makes a camera that creates a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comic about whatever he pointed the camera at. (The picture he takes of Davesprite creates a comic about one of the characters having wings and flying up into the sun.)

Next, Dave is directed to make copies of Rose’s journals. One of the journals is titles “MEOW” and the other is called “Complacency of the Learned.” The “meow” journal is filled with nothing but “meow” much the way the walls in Rose’s room are filled up with “meow.” Rose seems to be slightly unhinged! “Complacency of the Learned” turns out to be a fantasy story of some kind, involving wizards. This seems like a really involved and confusing story to Dave. He decides he’ll save it for later. Dave is directed to go find a bookmark. He heads back to his room and uses his copy of the Sburb Beta as a bookmark.

Then he goes back to the alchemiter, where he checks on Rose. Dave checks on Rose and sees that she is in the middle of something. And by something, I mean that she is burning her notebooks. Dave asks her why, and she claims to be doing it under orders from the gods of the furthest rings. They have a conversation where she states that “meow” notebook is a genetic code.

He next questions her about her “wizard fanfic.” (It actually seems more like wizard original fiction to me.) She states that she likes wizards, but hates the way her mother passive aggressively pretends to be obsessed with them. Dave points out that it is entirely possible that Mom likes wizards unironically and this entire passive aggressive mind game thing is one-sided. Rose does not consider this to even be a possibility. 

Then Davesprite pesters Rose. He questions her about why she’s burning the notebooks, particularly the “meow” book. She repeats what she said to Dave, and Davesprite asks her why she’s so certain that the gods from the furthest ring are right. She states they’ve never been wrong before, but Davesprite more or less states that this is no reason to trust them. We learn that Dave is probably playing his music really loud in his room in an effort to not hear them. We also learn that the plan for the alternate future Rose to fall asleep and transfer her memories to her past self was at least partially successful. Next, Dave complains that Rose is leaving him out of the loop since she’s talking to space mutants and Davesprite but not him. After they talk some more we switch to the Draconian Dignitary, who is engaging in a little house invasion. (He is entering Dave’s bedroom via the window.)

Davesprite and Dave had a discussion about how totally safe having copies of notebooks Rose wanted destroyed is. This is something that is totally safe, by the way. There is absolutely no problem with having notebooks Rose wanted destroyed, nosiree. Metaphors are wildly flung about in a way that suggests that Dave and Davesprite are actually extremely freaked out. Needless to say, Dave heads back to his room to destroy the notebooks.

Guess what isn’t there. Go on; guess.

The next direction is for Dave to go back in time and stop the thief.

It turns out that Dave already tried that, and it didn’t work. He knows this because his body is on the floor, a short distance from where he had left the notebooks. He decides he is not going to try time travel just yet.  The next direction is for Dave to throw himself out of the window.  When he does this, we can see that the Draconian Dignitary is still nearby.

The next command is for John to press a button on the control panel.

Part Thirty Six | Part Thirty Eight

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Filed under homestuck, Reading, science fiction, web comic

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