After getting a severe run around with the mental health services provider I was attempting to work with, I was told the brief evaluation I received indicated I wasn’t seriously mentally ill, and did not qualify for SMI benefits. (Oddly enough, the person who did the initially evaluation felt differently about it, because she’s the one who indicated that I should go for SMI benefits. Not so oddly, people who actually know more of what I’ve been going through for the past three years agree that I am not well.) I am not going to appeal, but I am going to continue to seek help.
The problem here is that I do not qualify for AHCCCS (Arizona Health Care Cost Containment System), which is the state medical insurance program. For I think two years now, it has only been available to people who have children. (Before, anyone who was making below a certain income level could use it.) This stinks! It particularly stinks because I do not have the money to pay for an evaluation at a clinic. (I should be able to in the near future for reasons I will get into later.)
On the job front, things were looking pretty grim until very recently. Following a suggestion made by the mobile team who turned up for reasons I’m not going to go into, I applied at a temp agency to work at one of the Amazon.com warehouses in Phoenix. After filling out an application and taking a short assessment test, I was able to get a work assignment that I’ll be starting on the 21st. I am a little nervous, because this is a very strenuous job, and I have been somewhat sessile for the past three years, despite occasional bursts of trying to exercise more.
(I also couldn’t ask for any accommodations due to the part where I have no official diagnosis that I’d be able to indicate as proof that I might need extra help. And by diagnosis, I mean “the precise thing where sometimes Rena does not understand words and spends several distracted minutes trying to string together coherent verbal sentences, or understanding relatively simple instructions” and “the thing where Rena does not always catch nonverbual cues” and “the thing where Rena will keep asking how to do something to make sure she understands everything about the task” and other difficulties I have.)
Another thing about this assignment is that it’s a temp seasonal position. Also, two days of the week I’m going to either need a ride or a taxi because the buses have a shorter schedule on the weekend.
This is of course, very far away from anything related to the degree that I earned, or the freelance writing I’ve been attempting to do. However, I haven’t been able to find Graphic Design work or Web Design work that matched my skill sets, and my writing hasn’t really taken off, so I’m not making any money from it. (Also, I have been too locked in a cycle of depression due in part to financial circumstances leading to a lack of motivation to write leading to further depression because I wasn’t financially secure leading to a lack of motivation to do anything. Let’s add to this the general depression/frustration/mental fog that I’ve had problems with for most of my life.)
I am hoping that once I have a regular paycheck, I’ll be able to get into counseling and/or therapy and hopefully get something to help with my general fogginess and depression. I am hoping that this time around I can convince someone that yes, there is a problem. (I sometimes have trouble doing this. Sometimes people think that just because you can describe the symptoms of the problem in detail, and do it more or less coherently that you must not therefore have a problem. This is really annoying.)
So, that is the general update of what I’ve been up to lately. Hopefully once everything is running smoothly, I’ll be able to do more writing. (Note: Most of the writing I’ve been doing has been on my Tumblr and LiveJournal/Dreamwidth Journals. This blog is mostly slightly cleaned up versions of posts from those journals, except for the fandom related stuff.)