Reading Homestuck Part Thirty Nine: ==> John: Start handing out rabbits!

From here to here.

CG trolls John and gives John more information about what is going to happen next. John would like wait before starting the reckoning, but CG says that there is no way to stop it. He also complains that John is going to be doing something stupid with rabbits at some point in the near future. John asks CG what makes the kids session go so badly. CG’s answer is that “Jack Noir” is the reason why the session goes badly and subsequently ruins CG’s session.

The version of Jack Noir in the trolls’ game helped the trolls by exiling the Black Queen so they only had to face the Black King. The trolls’ Jack was also exiled and continued to aid the trolls. Meanwhile, something happens to the kids Jack Noir that results in the trolls’ session being completely ruined. The trolls are currently hiding out from an extremely homicidal and completely unhinged Jack Noir and passing the time by trolling the kids. Then CG accidentally gives John the inspiration to play act his favorite scene from Con Air.

The following prompt is an [S] prompt! Two of the babies get rabbits to cheesily sung lyrics. (I am sorry but I could not listen to the lyrics and watch the animation at the same time. It is a song presumably from the movie. It is horribly cheesy and I share CG’s complete and total horror. Baby Jade and Baby Rose both get rabbits but Jade is the only one who seems to like hers. CG facekeyboards in sheer horror, and then gallowsCalibrator makes an appearance and mocks his pain. This is the end of Act Four!

(PSYCH!) It goes on for a few more pages

Next, we see someone making like Macbeth’s wife! (Okay not really.) Dave is understandably freaked out about having to dispose of the body of his alternate self. Dave gets trolled by GC shortly after disposing of his body. (I’ll take “sentences you never thought would make sense in context” for two thousand Alec.) GC wants to know what Dave’s blood smells and wants him to taste it. He tells her where she can stick those suggestions. They talk some more and GC complains about all of the Daves and sends him a very silly altered picture. They continue needling each other and GC sends another picture that is meant to represent Dave. Somehow, they end up on amicable terms!

Jade is trolled by AT, our comically inept troll friend. He talks to Jade’s dreamself about a variety of things, such as CG trying to contact her, the general confusion of her timeline and wanting to prank her. We learn that Jade has a very limited amount of time left before contact will be lost. We have some indication that AT is the only one who contacts her when she’s asleep. We also learn that the trolls dream selves are all dead. AT says that the only time he liked the game was when he was dreaming. Then he ends the conversation. The next panel is AT, who is a troll boy with longhorn type horns.

Rose gets trolled by GA. Rose is impatient and in the middle of a battle, and GA is snippy and angry. She apparently wants to be Rose’s friend but is not happy that her attempts at befriending have thus far been unsuccessful. GA has also not figured out that John had pranked her previously. GA wants to know if Rose is annoyed by something that happened in a previous conversation that GA has not had yet. Rose confirms this and then ends the conversation.

Next, GC continues to troll Dave. Dave also appears to be busy, but is able to have a more or less amicable exchange with GC who sends him another picture. This picture is a Back to the Future pinball machine with scribbles to indicate that the two men cosplaying characters from the movie are meant to be Bro and Dave. Then Dave asks GC if she has seen Bro and she says that Dave does not meet him before the “Rift.” GC tells Dave not to worry about not having his Bro around (he denies being upset about the absence of his Bro but GC does not believe him) then she offers to help Dave in place of his Bro. She tells him about a point further in Dave’s timeline and gives him directions. She also makes fun of something that will happen to him further along in the timeline, because GC is just classy like that.

The next [S] command is “Descend.”

 During this animation, we see Dave’s entrance to the session, witness Jack Noir killing the Black and White Kings and see the White Queen absconding from Prospit. Jack Noir next attacks WV’s revolutionaries. Bro cuts the meteor heading for the apartment in half and later will be tangling with Jack Noir. The eight babies get sent to their respective points in time. We also see Jade attempting to rescue John’s dream self, unfortunately, she puts her own dream self in harm’s way to do it. We see the very large ship with John’s Dad and Rose’s Mom. Another thing that occurs is the creation of Becquerel. There is a very brief moment where we see a Squiddles™ cartoon. We also see a line commemorating the 413th day of the comic. (4-13-2009 to 5-31-2010.)

NOW we’re at the end of Act Four.

We next see the final entry of Rose’s game faq. She is not a very happy camper and seems to have had certain dark epiphanies. Her final words are that she will put the game faq on a remote server in the Outer Ring for future players to read, and that magic is real. Then she signs the faq with her initials. Then the entry fades into a strange pixelated fog and then darkness.

Next we see that hours in the future the Warweary Villein has arrived on a post-apocalyptic Earth and has become a vagabond. We also see that he is wearing John’s sheets. WV remembers the aftermath of the battle where Jack Noir basically killed everyone. He finds a Jack doll, and tears it apart. Then John’s ghost sheet makes an appearance and he puts that on instead of his clothes. (You know, this is kind of horrifyingly sad in a funny way. WV is wearing something he believes is emblematic of the people he had led to their deaths during his revolution. But it’s a sheet with ghosties on it.)

Meanwhile, dream self-John finds dream-Jade’s body. He takes the ring she’s still wearing. When he looks up he sees himself in the clouds, which are displaying and image of his destination, according to the narrative. Hours in the future we see PM who has replaced her clothes with a Prospitian banner. We see that previously, PM had been in a battle after which she arranges a meeting with Jack Noir and exchanges the crowns of the White King and Queen for the parcel. Jack Noir honors the agreement!

Meanwhile, PM and John cross paths! PM delivers the package to John. John looks somewhat confused! He finds a somewhat confusing letter from someone he does not know, but who knows him. The contents of the box according to the letter include “Royal Deringer,” “Quills of Echidna,” and “Ahab’s Crosshairs.” There is a second letter, this one from Jade who tells him about her penpal (the writer of the first letter).

Unfortunately, Jack Noir turns up, wanting the ring. However, the bunny comes out of the box with a great deal of weaponry! (However a few of the weapons do not seem to be the ones listed. There are two needle-like weapons that might be the Quills, and a science fiction laser rifle that is probably Ahab’s Crosshairs, but the other two weapons are a broken sword and a hammer. Jack makes a strategic retreat!

Hours in the future, we see AR replacing his clothes with a roll of caution tape! We see form AR’s memories that AR fled the frog temple when the Reckoning began. He retreated to the meteor lab where John was and immediately loaded him onto the rocket skateboard when the meteor started heading for Skaia. John goes flying off, still asleep, on an unknown course.

Meanwhile, a ship lands on the battlefield. The elderly gentleman drops off John’s Dad and Rose’s Mom, and heads off on his ship with Jade’s dead dream self. (This is subsequently taxidermied.) While this is going on, The White Queen’s ship goes through one of Skaia’s gates. Hours in the future, the White Queen becomes the Windswept Questant and heads off, leaving her entourage behind. Years in the future she finds the station that corresponds to Dave’s egg and flies off in it.

We then see the meeting between the Exiles and Wayward Vagabond reveals that he has one of the rings. (This scene is of course being viewed by John back on the battlefield.) We also see another image of a secret lab with a fourth wall stolen form a Derse Agent and the taxedermied Haley and the taxidermied Jade.

Part Thirty Eight | Part Forty

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Filed under apocalyptic, homestuck, Reading, science fiction, web comic

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