Reading Homestuck Part Forty Four: Tavros> Learn why you shouldn’t play games for girls

From here to here.

While Sollux flips his lid, we get introduced to the silly cat girl troll! The silly cat girl’s name is Nepeta Leijon and she is possibly only silly to trolls, because she is actually a fierce huntress living a somewhat feral existence. She is also a romantic who really likes to speculate on romantic relationships. Her “trolltag” is arsenicCatnip and her quirk involves using a smiley reminiscent of her lusus, who is a large cat with two mouths. Nepeta is directed to retrieve claws from arms. It turns out that she is secretly Wolverine, and she has gauntlets that produce very long sharp blades. It is basically a cestus from heck. (Or in this case, Alternia, which is pretty much heck.)

Nepeta is next directed to scratch her lusus behind the ears. The lusus’ name is Pounce de Leon and we learn that Nepeta is a fan of cute things. (Her giant monster kitty being one of the cute things she is a fan of.) We get some omnious implications that our dear sweet Pounce may not be long for this world. We also get some narrative hints that this particular storyline is on a tight schedule, and therefore, we’re going to be hustled along by the pacing. (This web comic is already a nightmare of pacing. The hustle should have been happening for a while now.)

Sure enough, on the next page we discover there was a cave in, which crushed poor Pounce.

Nepeta is next directed to examine computer.  It’s a drawing tablet and we get a hint that this would be super useful if it were also a fetch modus (like Jade’s!) Nepeta is being trolled by Karkat. Nepeta likes to rp when she chats, something that Karkat does not like doing. He states that Nepeta is autistic in a possibly pejorative fashion! Nepeta does not seem to be insulted by this, but it not a certain thing that this is actually true. (There is some fan fiction that deals with the idea of Nepeta being autistic, of varying quality. The best is possibly the askblog/fanfiction Brainbent by VastDerp.)

Karkat is asking in a very haphazard fashion if Nepeta would like to play a game with him. The game in question is SGrub which as we know, is going to cause Cataclysmic Doom. He directs her to connect with Tavros, who is also getting involved with this game. Nepeta mentions that she was going to talk to someone else about the game. This person is her friend, and Karkat does not seem to think very much of him. Nepeta however feels the need to contact him.

The friend uses the handle centaursTesticle He does not appear to have Nepeta’s whimsical sense of humor and hates roleplaying almost more than Karkat appears to! He also seems to take himself very seriously, and believes that he is completely superior in most ways. He is, in short a snob. Nepeta does not take him very seriously at all, and is trying to get him to play with her. They also argue about hunting, which centaursTesticle does not approve of. (He does not seem to approve of much of anything.) He also insists that she be on his team. Nepeta protests, but centaursTesticle insists.

Nepeta relates the sad news to Tavros. It turns out that Tavros is more than willing to rp with Nepeta, and they are actually kind of cute together! He wishes her luck and tells her that he’ll find another player for the red team to get him into the game. After the conversation, Tavros reminisces fondly about other games he’s been in. Then something horrible happens. (I am not going to be more specific than that, because of reasons.)

The next prompt is “Some time ago…”

What follows is the story of a situation that snowballs out of control. Once upon a time, Tavros was part of Team Charge with Aradia Megido! The game they were playing is called FLARP, which is a team based role playing game where part of the team is acting as the game master of one of the opposite team members. Team Charge will be playing against Team Scourge. There are also weird glowing chiropteran creatures called “gaming flapstractions” which serve as the campaign’s directions and procedures.

Tavros’ “Clouder” or GM is arachnidsGrip. AG is kind of terrible and spends a great deal of time making fun of poor Tavros. The game really doesn’t go very well, and ends with Tavros in a very, very dangerous predicament that is made more difficult by AG, who as previously stated, is kind of terrible! Tavros is backed up against the cliff and ends up going OVER the cliff, because again, AG is terrible and used her mind-control powers to walk him off the cliff. This is how Tavros ended up in his wheelchair.

There is a brief exchange between Karkat and Tavros, in which Karkat tells him that his current injury is the result of playing games for girls. (Troll gamer girls are scary, okay.)

In the present, Karkat is talking to Terezi about the situation with the load gaper! (We also learn that words like “toilet” are super fancy “highblood” terms which Karkat disdains.) Terezi reveals that this game is part of a larger plot that she is only now becoming aware of, because she had been kept out of the loop. Karkat is less that pleased to hear about this! He demands explanations, but Terezi does not have time for explaining. He also ends up talking to AG! AG definitely wants something, but pretends that she does not. Some threats are exchanged and overtures of friendship that Karkat refuses to buy. Then there are some more threats and insults that end with Karkat signing off. Part of the exchange involves the discovery that AG finds it difficult to read Karkat’s mind which for her is like going through a dumpster filled with broken glass and razor blades. (She is however still able to exert a mindwhammy on him.)

Karkat is next directed to be the other asshole! This would be a Sagittarius troll with broken teeth and a broken horn. He is surrounded by posters of bodybuilding anthropomorphic figures, broken robots and an apparently male centaur with a cow’s udder. The narrator is so grossed out he decides that he cannot possibly introduce us to this guy yet. 

In any case, the next command is “hurry,” so that is a thing that should definitely happen.

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Filed under apocalyptic, fantasy elements, homestuck, Reading, web comic

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